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Tuesday, June 26, 2007
okie...blogging again...got a glimpse of her todae...mood is improving bit by bit each day...been feeling rather cranky lately...so plz dun try n get on my nerves...coz i nvr know wat i would do...standing at the edge of insanity...but anyway sry to everyone which i hav acidentally irritated lately...kor called me ytd at ard 1+ 2...but didnt chat much...coz i was simply too drained out to even open my mouth...argh i really dunno wat is goin through my mind now...too confused...too drain out...too stupid i guess...dunno wat to said anymore...
SaDneSs beFalLs aT|11:55 PM|
Monday, June 25, 2007
okie time to blog again...quite drained out for the pass few days...my mood now is still the same...quite moody quite sad...keep thinking of her...really dunno wat wrong with me...i though i was gonna be able to put through anything tat come my way....but guess i was wrong...look like i havent change a bit since sec 3...haiz...also dunno wat is rite n wat is wrong now...cant think...2 more months and it is my O's...but i am really not in the mood to study...jus like last yr...everytime something major is coming things always go wrong...argh...i jus wanna forget bout everything and jus do thing tat i like...been gaming for the whole day...at least it is a good method of keeping myself occupied...but thing is whenever i take a break which is like 5min only my imagination will start running wild...i will keep thinking of her...guess weekend r like tat...tmr is the start of a new week...hope things will turn out better...
I MISS 'her'...
SaDneSs beFalLs aT|12:08 AM|
Friday, June 22, 2007
jus wanna update abit about ytd since i wasnt in the mood...took taxi home with glenda and i alight at her place and walk home from there to rivervale plaza...was super tired...and i was sweating like hell...but it was good at least something occupied me...when i reach home it was like 11.30 went to bath and play game for awhile...slept at 12.30...then my kor called me at around 1.30 as i had sms him during ytd afternoon...then he ask if i was okie as i was feeling moody ytd...but anyway i had a good chat with him till 2.30...almost cried during the conversation....but i didnt...was feeling really sad ytd...but guess todae should be a better day for me...at least i hope so...
SaDneSs beFalLs aT|9:29 AM|
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Wish 'her' a speedy recovery...Mus take care of ur health...
When i know that 'her' was sick, I almost felt like crying...and i am not afraid to said so...
SaDneSs beFalLs aT|11:57 PM|
okie gonna blog again since something has happen...been about 3 weeks has pass since my enterprise UT has pass...and i mus said i really hav high hope...at least a C for me...but guess wat i got a freaking D...damn disappointed...my enterprise faci is the best faci i hav...and i mus said i really dun wan to disappoint her...reach home ard 8+...first thing i did was to check leo for any update in result...and i saw the stupid D...first reaction was to sms my result to my enterprise faci...so damn sad sia...but i promise from now on i will work hard...i swear...then todae in class...not my normal self...something seem to be missing but jus couldnt figure out wat...only after 1st breakout then i realise wat was missing...well dunno y i even felt tat something or someone was even missing in the first place...but anyway hope tat nth is wrong with something or someone...in a few days time i think i will receive bac math n computing UT result...i guess that would be another module that i will fail...even without receiving bac my result i know that i will get an F...argh jus dun get it...faci treat me well but i jus cant do well damn it...watever man life sux...trying to look at life at a more positive view...but things that are happening around me now make my mind set more negative...
SaDneSs beFalLs aT|12:05 AM|
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
todae went to meet a friend of mine...guess wat she got a bf hahax...then they were like so lovely...i c liao super envy hahax...then after tat my friend's bf had to go first so left me and her...then i tease her said she n the bf so lovely make me jealous...
HQ:hahax dun laugh at me know u got gf too rite...brg let me c leh...
Fizzy:hahax no lor i where will hav gf...
HQ:sure anot dun lie to me hahax...
Fizzy:lolx if lie to u got money i dun mind hahax...
HQ:then got anyone u like?
Fizzy:Ermmm
HQ:hahax got said la...
Fizzy:hahax got la got la happy....hahax
HQ:then go jio la...
Fizzy:diaoz u think so easy meh hahax...wan jio then jio lolx...ppl also attached liao...
HQ:lolx u ar still the same...
Fizzy:lolx i mean seriously lor even if not attached i also wont jio one la lolx...
HQ:y leh...scared ar???hum ji ar u hahax...
Fizzy:Diaoz watever la...
HQ:then u not sad meh ppl got bf...
Fizzy: ............
So when i was on the way home i though about the question my friend posted to me...u not sad meh tat she got bf...i mean sad also is bo bian...wat can i do...at least she is happy...her bf treat her well...another point also came to my mind...liking someone doesnt mean mus stead with that person ma...if she happy i c liao also will happy ma...but said is said la hahax....if really c her and the bf together how would i react??i dun wanna know...and to said the truth i also wont be good enough for her...but 1 thing i know for sure...if i can c her smiling everyday, that would be the happiest thing for me...
And this entry nvr had a ending...
SaDneSs beFalLs aT|12:02 AM|
Monday, June 18, 2007
1:48am
Mum:Erhm...wat time liao ar still dun slp...
Fizzy:Aiya still early la ...
Mum:Tmr no skool izzit?
Fizzy:Got ar...but nvm la the most slp in class lor...
Mum:Better slp early ar...
Fizzy:Ok ok...
hahax...yup it is 1am+ goin 2am...but still havent slp yet...feel so refresh lolx...actaully shld hav slept long ago but due to some reason i havent slp hahax...but anyway shld hav no prob staying awake in skool tmr hahax...okie todae is father day...not really a veri good day...planned to go sakura at SAFRA tampines in the morning and it was confirm...then ard 6 nobody had reached home yet...my mum n 2 bros went out...and nobody reach home at 6...so my dad was like super angry...then at ard 6.2o my bros came bac with the car...so this was the beginning of the trip lolx...went to Gaint to fetch my mum n aunt...went straight down to Sakura after tat...and guess wat...saw jiajia over there hahax...wat a concidence...she was so shocked when she saw me lolx...anyway my dinner was not bad...went round eating almost every food available at Sakura except for the sushi lolx...anyway after that came home straight and i have been sitting in front of my lappy ever since...hahax...will be bac to update more often...
SaDneSs beFalLs aT|1:51 AM|
Sunday, June 17, 2007
okie gonna blog again haahx...friday morning woke up like 8...no choice had to go to sengkang polyclinic for my blood test...okie not a veri good morning for me...i bus-ed to compass point and was planning to walk from there to the polyclinic...and damn it jus before i reach the interchange it was still dry...but when i exited from another exit it was raining freaking heavily...and there was no shelther to the polyclinic from compass point...no choice had to wait for the rain to stop...normally i would hav jus dash across the road lolx...BUT i was holding some documents and my hp was with me and i was using my earpiece...so no choice...then after being stucked for like 10-15min...it wasnt raining so heavily so i guess jus heck care and jus run...and i did hahax...i was drench when i reach the polyclinic...i mus said the nurse is good...considering the fact that i am afraid of needles and i didnt even feel the needle being poke into me hahax...then went home after tat...gamed all the till 8pm when my dinner came home hahax...BK yum yum so nice...then after dinner gamed AGAIN lolx...finally went to slp at 4am...todae woke up at 2pm...hahax...was super tired...todae was a tiring day...i gav a corner of my room a little make over...now my lappy has it own personal fan hahax...then specially stayed up till now to watch formula 1....omg the race is 2am on monday...and i got school on monday lolx...i am so freaking gonna fall aslp hahax...anyway tat all gonna get bac to game hahax...and chatting with my brothers hahax...
SaDneSs beFalLs aT|2:05 AM|
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
okie gonna update again...todae morning i was suppose to go to nchs to c my brother play his first bball match for his current skool but woke up late so didnt go...so dissappointed that i couldnt c him play...anyway i will go c him play in his next match...i promise...but i dun get it....i slept at 1.30 ytd...but still couldnt wake up and i actually woke up only at 1.30...i set 3 alarms...1st at 6.15 2nd at 6.30 3rd at 10.30...none woke me up lolx...anyway my mood todae is better...been gaming the whole day guess tat y i feel so much better...was suppose to go for my blood test todae but went for it as i woke up late...think i gonna go for my blood test only on friday hahx...but i think i hav something on friday but jus cant remember wat it is hahax...anyway i am so broke....to the extent that i cant even afford my own lunch...so i had no choice but to eat bread for my lunch hahax....then my dinner was better....my dad n mum bought bac food...hahahx...supper was the best...waffles with chocolate ice cream...yummy yummy...tmr i will be alone at nite...and i hav to settle my own dinner...but i told my mum to buy bac for me but she said she will be bac late...real late...but who care...when u hav no money u jus hav to settle for anything hahax...as for lunch i hav my bread hahax...tat would be more than enough...so miss skool...hols is so long damn it...i hope tat hols will end soon...i miss my skool mate...i miss bitchin ard with them...and of cuz WISE-ing hahax...tat is our secret code...better and more secretive than morse code muahahax...anyway i hope to go bac to skool soon...only than i will hav money hahax...
SaDneSs beFalLs aT|11:37 PM|
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
okie slept at 5am in the morning...so i was veri tired...woke up at 8.30 to giv my first morning call then slept again and finally woke up at 11.15 when i saw eileen's sms to mit at 11.30 at woodland for lunch...lolx and i stay in sengkang hahax...anyway i went to meet them straight after i woke up and bath...reach at ard 12.15 hahax...and i wasnt the latest...anyway went to RP and went for the discovery trip...damn boring...i slept while on the way to discovery centre then after tat watch the movie fighter plane before leaving discovery centre...then after tat train-ed down to tampines...ate and slack abit at century square...after which me johnne ying2 eileen yvonne went to ikea...actually amanda was joining us but she didnt in the end...then walk ard ikea and went to giant after tat...shopping jus aint my kind of thing hahax...tmr hav to wake up early dunno can wake up or not...anyone can morning call me??ard 7 hahax...but anyway damn frustrated now...having my mood swings again...com'on can anyone cheer me up plz..and cure me of my regular mood swing...coz it is seriously ruining my life...feeling so down now...
SaDneSs beFalLs aT|10:29 PM|
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Okie it is like 5am in the morning...currently i am at a chalet...not much goin on...everyone is slping...left me alone...peace n quiet i think...was studying for my bio ytd....but gave up on it jus hrs after i started...reason is simple...i really aint suited for bio....i jus dun get it why....no matter how hard i try i jus feel like giving it up totally...anyway i retaking my O's at the end of the yr sian 1/2...dun tell me i gonna fail it once again...fate is so cruel to me...anyway fate is cruel to everyone not jus me...so i guess i shouldnt complain so much....currently i am lookin for someone who i can chat heart to heart with but well everyone is aslp....anyway woke up at 1pm todae...then went to cut my hair...so freaky short...but at least it is better than my hair dangling in mid air hahax...then i pack my shirt all tat for my chalet....after tat rush to somerset...met my god bro for lunch hahax...then slack abit and took train to pasir ris...waited for quite sometime before the others book in into the chalet...then waited for amanda and ben to come then we went BK for our dinner...maybe is counted as supper...as we had it at ard 10pm+...anyway after tat we went to get some alcohol...but i finish mine in like 3 mouth...and i was actually hoping to get myself drunk....how naive can i be...really in a confused mood now...everything isnt goin rite....well things are like nvr goin rite for me....jus dunno y...anyway my face finally doesnt hurt...yea call me a weakling if u wan i dun care...watchin someone get whack and not being able to do anything...feel so useless...damn it...i dun wanna be protected....i wanna protect...
To kor...ya maybe wat u said does make sense...goin to help is wat i claimed...but does it really is helping...for my case...ya maybe u r rite i am not helping at all...jus a burden to everyone there...but u know me...my personalities...nvr gonna let ppl around me get hurt...no way...
at this point of time i really wanna shout out everything in my heart...i feel so locked up...i smile smile smile but am i smiling??i dunno...i dun wanna know...and i dun hav the wish to know...guess i will nvr be able to find out...but i guess no one ard me will care bout how i feel too...sometime when i dun wanna do something is not becoz i find it troublesome but jus tat i am afraid i would mess thing up...whenever i try to help solve something i would only end up making it worse...wtf is wrong with me man...i jus dunno...anyway i dun wanna care so much...it is now jus a step at a time for me...jus walking ard blindly...not knowing wat is goin to happen next....haiz...think so much also make me more sian...might as well dun think lor rite...ya tat rite...
I WILL MAKE IT...I MUS MAKE IT...CANT AFFORD TO DISAPPOINT EVERYONE...NO I WONT...
SaDneSs beFalLs aT|5:07 AM|
Monday, June 04, 2007
been long since i last blog...not really in the mood to blog so guess it will be a sloppy entry...okie not really in the best of mood...my face hurt F*** it...was still fine ytd until i woke up todae...super bored now...wanna look for someone to chat with...but it is like 12.30am who in the right mind would wanna entertain me...guess i would jus keep the boring-ness to myself...anyway todae started off badly...was slping halfway when my hp started ringing away...3 times within a few hrs...and i actually slept at 3am+...so i was quite grouchy...spent the nite at my god bro place so when i woke up i rested awhile and went home...then after i reach home i SLEPT again...so damn tired...then when i woke up i went out for dinner with my family and my tution teacher...then came home watch motoGP then slack abit come online blog then tat would be the end of my day...BORING...the boring-ness in me is killing me...
SaDneSs beFalLs aT|12:29 AM|