[]__blOggiE__[]
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Okie it is like 5am in the morning...currently i am at a chalet...not much goin on...everyone is slping...left me alone...peace n quiet i think...was studying for my bio ytd....but gave up on it jus hrs after i started...reason is simple...i really aint suited for bio....i jus dun get it why....no matter how hard i try i jus feel like giving it up totally...anyway i retaking my O's at the end of the yr sian 1/2...dun tell me i gonna fail it once again...fate is so cruel to me...anyway fate is cruel to everyone not jus me...so i guess i shouldnt complain so much....currently i am lookin for someone who i can chat heart to heart with but well everyone is aslp....anyway woke up at 1pm todae...then went to cut my hair...so freaky short...but at least it is better than my hair dangling in mid air hahax...then i pack my shirt all tat for my chalet....after tat rush to somerset...met my god bro for lunch hahax...then slack abit and took train to pasir ris...waited for quite sometime before the others book in into the chalet...then waited for amanda and ben to come then we went BK for our dinner...maybe is counted as supper...as we had it at ard 10pm+...anyway after tat we went to get some alcohol...but i finish mine in like 3 mouth...and i was actually hoping to get myself drunk....how naive can i be...really in a confused mood now...everything isnt goin rite....well things are like nvr goin rite for me....jus dunno y...anyway my face finally doesnt hurt...yea call me a weakling if u wan i dun care...watchin someone get whack and not being able to do anything...feel so useless...damn it...i dun wanna be protected....i wanna protect...
To kor...ya maybe wat u said does make sense...goin to help is wat i claimed...but does it really is helping...for my case...ya maybe u r rite i am not helping at all...jus a burden to everyone there...but u know me...my personalities...nvr gonna let ppl around me get hurt...no way...
at this point of time i really wanna shout out everything in my heart...i feel so locked up...i smile smile smile but am i smiling??i dunno...i dun wanna know...and i dun hav the wish to know...guess i will nvr be able to find out...but i guess no one ard me will care bout how i feel too...sometime when i dun wanna do something is not becoz i find it troublesome but jus tat i am afraid i would mess thing up...whenever i try to help solve something i would only end up making it worse...wtf is wrong with me man...i jus dunno...anyway i dun wanna care so much...it is now jus a step at a time for me...jus walking ard blindly...not knowing wat is goin to happen next....haiz...think so much also make me more sian...might as well dun think lor rite...ya tat rite...
I WILL MAKE IT...I MUS MAKE IT...CANT AFFORD TO DISAPPOINT EVERYONE...NO I WONT...
SaDneSs beFalLs aT|5:07 AM|
